Why I Need Alone Time

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Humanity is chaotic. The world around us is loud, confusing, stressful. I love people, but I hate crowds. I have social anxiety (sometimes… it’s all very subjective to my mood and/or the social situation I’m in, so talk about confusing) and being around too many people drains me physically and emotionally.

So, when I don’t want to go out or hang out with you, don’t take it personally. It’s not that I don’t want to make plans with someone, it’s just that I actually need to “recover” by myself to be able to feel good again and continue with my life as normal.

When I am hanging out with a group of people I know, I usually feel great. It’s only the next day that I feel emotionally drained. It doesn’t stop me from enjoying my time with people – only if I haven’t had time for myself in a while. If I try to make plans with someone after not having any time for myself, I will simply be down, anxious and not enjoying myself.

I’ve always loved people, so I don’t know why this recovery time is needed. But believe me, when I don’t want to/can’t make plans with someone, I’m choosing to do that so I don’t ruin both my day and your day, because I would not be good company.

Tips for someone going through the same: when I’m out in crowds, I will put on loud music on my headphones whenever possible. It helps me disconnect from the crowd and drown out the loud noises of the busy everyday life. When recovering by yourself, your first instinct might be to done absolutely nothing, lay down and watch TV all day. Sometimes that’s needed, but I feel much better if I’ve done something productive throughout the day, like working on a hobby: learning a language, drawing, writing (like right now), reading.

That’s my rant over. Do you have something you do to avoid being drained and help the recovery period, if you go through the same thing?

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20 Comments Add yours

  1. Andrew Thomas says:

    I think walking is my salve for time I need to be alone and recover.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. newpmv says:

      I do love that too, although I find that living in London sometimes it’s somewhat hard to truly be by yourself outside. Thanks for sharing!

      Like

      1. Andrew Thomas says:

        Yes, London living can be tricky to feel completely disconnected in. A big reason why I’m leaving in fact.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. newpmv says:

        Hopefully same here in a not too distant future 🙂

        Like

  2. We all need our time out to recharge and recover. 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  3. hyroglyphx says:

    -Hyper-vigilance-
    Compared to normal perspectives: I see more, I hear more, I interpret more, I deduce more, I think more, etc.
    It is tiring acting as a reactionary system one mind, when my home is in system two thinking.
    My own consciousness must take the time to reconcile what took place while the thinker in me was replaced with an auto-pilot.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That first paragraph especially explained me to a “T.” Thanks for sharing and also thank you for your interest in my blog. I look forward to following yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pugsnbooks says:

    I work in retail and I feel like I need so much recover time. I usually turn off my phone and do something that I like to enjoy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. newpmv says:

      I’ve been there too, retail is tiring after a while!

      Like

  6. Really related to this post as I feel the need to do exactly the same thing; sometimes I just need some peace and quiet to hit the reset button :O) My thing is walking with music blaring

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Winnie says:

    I too love people but hate crowds. Your post summed it all up what I felt this weekend.

    Like

  8. ibsmind says:

    I call this “me time”. This is really something which we need regularly because no one can understand you better than yourself. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. C says:

    I experience this regularly. I end up consumed by guilt because I don’t want my friends and family thinking I don’t want to see them, but I know I need to give myself the me time I need before I burn out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. newpmv says:

      I know the feeling :/ wish I had more advice, but all I can say is that you shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling the way you do, that’s just adding to the pressure you already feel (from personal experience)

      Like

      1. C says:

        I completely agree. That’s why I try to remind myself that I have to prioritise my needs if I want to be good company. I’m glad I’m not the only one out there that feels the need to do this 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. newpmv says:

        Not at all, you’re in good company 😉

        Like

  10. I find that reading some of the Psalms helps me when life gets to be too much or depression comes to rob you of your joy. He listens and He cares for you, so let God knew about your day. He already knows about you but He wants to hear it from you.

    Like

  11. Loooove my alone time, it’s my favorite👩

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Alone times are quite common nowadays as I can totally relate. Coffee, movie, books, and games… they all play roles in alone time. My theory is that it can drain energy when with people. Sometimes, we feel the need to recharge that social energy.

    Liked by 1 person

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