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Your Pain Isn’t Worse Than Mine

There is one kind of person that gets to me – the one that loves feeling so miserable all the time that no one, at any point in time, can feel worse than them.

I’ve had moments in my life where I was feeling so tired and down that I started complaining out loud more than I usually do (I always try to be as positive as possible), but guess what? People wouldn’t allow me to not feel good, and not for the right reasons.

Any time I’d say: “I feel so tired, I studied all day yesterday and still have so much to do”, they’d reply with “Pff, you’re tired? I should be the one to say I’m tired, I worked an 8 hour shift and then studied all night, you shouldn’t even be tired.”

Well guess what? Two people are allowed to be very tired at the same time for different amounts of work, specially when other factors (anxiety disorder eating away energy) are in play.

For me, people who must always put others down for feeling bad, saying they’re the ones that should be complaining, are not only very negative people, but they love basking in their negativity. They love putting others down because they feel like they’ve earned their pain, while others haven’t.

I’ve heard this great saying once, and I’ll say it here in case you’re one of these people: no one’s pain is worse, and no one’s pain is better. Pain is subjective and varies according to many factors that only pertain to the person suffering. You have no idea how anyone else apart from yourself is feeling.

While someone’s worse pain may be going through a break-up, and another person’s worse pain may be having to fight cancer, no one’s to say that one pain is superior and another is inferior. Both people are suffering and both are going through a hard time, they shouldn’t have to mask their pain just because someone else may be “suffering more”.

Okay, this was a little bit of a rant so I’m not sure how concise that was, but do you know anyone who also behaves like this? What do you think of these situations? Let me know, please (genuinely interested)!

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19 thoughts on “Your Pain Isn’t Worse Than Mine Leave a comment

  1. Thank you for this! So many times when I’ve said “I’m so exhausted “ I’ve been told “you’re too young to be tired so much…now work 8 hours a day, and go home to cook and do laundry and wake up early and then tell me how tired you are”. I’m no! I AM tired. Anxiety is draining. Being a stay at home mother is draining. Volunteering and moving to another state is emotionally draining. I hate when people turn things into a competition. Each and every one of us is fighting a battle that is different from another person. We are all allowed to be tired; to complain at times without receiving backlash for it.
    I hope you are feeling much better now though!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I feel your absolutely right about your statement. I know many people that have the same immune is worse that yours complex both personally and I personally. I never understood it, it’s as if they want all of the attention on them. It actually frustrates me… I’m like “wow so am I not suppose to express me feelings without someone trying to one up me?”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Loved this post! It was especially eye opening on both spectrums for me. I related to the idea of others bringing me down and making me feel like my feelings are inferior to them, but this also made me reflect as a “check yourself” moment. I questioned myself, have I made others feel like this even though I complain that others do this to me? It was rather eye opening because it showed me that I’ve actually done this to others and I hate when people do it to me- definitely hypocritical of me. Thank you for sharing this, it opened up to me an aspect of myself that I definitely want to work on and improve myself to get better at not acting like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. None of us can ever understand someone else’s pain as we haven’t had their experiences. All our thoughts and emotions are a product of what we have experienced in life. This then becomes a double edged sword for us poor humans – no-one can ever fully understand us so we will always feel misunderstand and we will never fully understand others so we will feel irritated when they say that their pain is worse than ours. It’s a bit of a lose/lose situation really unless you think of the alternative which would be that we all experience exactly the same things in life – what a bloody boring world that would be ;O)

    Like

  5. Nicely put, I’ve some people in my family who are always sick and in constant need of sympathy, but the moment you tell about your pain or problems, its not a big deal for them. As you rightly put, they bask in the glory of their negativity, thats their way of getting attention. So they will make huge hue-cry over their common cold while somone out their dying from cancer.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Interesting subject. Yes I agree everyone’s pain is equally valid and subjective but at the same time we all need to get a realistic perspective. Break ups are painful, it’s a bummer to feel tired or be bored at work but these are all temporary states, feelings that fade with time. In ten years much of it will be forgotten. They do not compare with the trauma of war refugees who have lost everything or losing a child to cancer or having both your legs amputated or getting dementia. Life is not perfect. Pain and loss are inevitable. We are all allowed a little moan but our pain does not have to be validated by anyone else. Own your feelings and then move on to a hopefully better day.

    Liked by 1 person

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